Moon Brain Muse

There is a slight pause. "Hello. You have reached River Tam. She is..." Another pause, then a soft click, as if someone had pushed the machine. "Here. But you are not here, so there is a problem with communication." There's another pause, filled with strange swishing sounds. When her voice returns, it's clearly from a different part of the room. "Please leave a message, and River will return your call when your timelines intersect."

Finally, the beep sounds. Leave a message for River below.

Any posts following this one are for Hearts & Minds. If you have this journal friended from a previous game, feel free to defriend.

Real life has sucked my time, energy and creativity in a huge horrid whirlpool known as TGIFridays. *sigh* I'm around, but I need a nap. And a pool, and more money so I can run the A/C in this hellhole of an apartment. And for the J-like-person to stop fucking ignoring me before I go ballistic on his skinny ass.

Who was "the one that got away"?

[[Note: This is set in an AU future-verse based loosely around my short AU Clytemnestra, a part of Not a Pretty Myth. It's not really necessary to read it, since this is really an AU of an AU, but it might make a bit more sense.]]

"Codename Pequod, report."

River tucked a lock of short hair behind her ear, a few strands escaping her grasp. "Target has been identified. All intelligence seems to be correct."

The man on the screen nodded. "You have the go ahead, Pequod. Radio silence until the target is eliminated. Contact as soon as it's done." He paused. "Take care of yourself, Tam. Don't get yourself killed for this hun dan. He's proven himself a worthy adversary. No one's going to think bad on you for coming home empty-handed."

Smirking, she nodded. "Haven't yet, Johns. And they only send the best after the best. Pequod out." She clicked the comm-unit shut.

"That it? That's all it takes to get the go ahead to assassinate someone?"

( River sighed and turned. )

Muse: River Tam
Fandom: Firefly/Serenity
Prompt: 125 - One That Got Away
Word Count: 1102 words

What was/is your childhood ambition?

"Simon?"

Her brother looked up from his books. "Yes, mei mei?"

River floated off the couch, her feet barely touching the floor. "When did you know you wanted to be a doctor?" She perched on the edge of the table, reading his texts upside down (Asphyxia (from Greek a-, "without" and sphuxis, "pulse, heartbeat") is a condition of severely deficient supply of oxygen to the body that arises from being unable to breathe normally. Asphyxia causes generalized hypoxia, which--)

Simon shrugged and went back to reading. "Always knew."

"Liar." She narrowed her eyes and spat the word, causing Simon to look up sharply. "You didn't always."

He frowned, reaching for her face. "River, are you ill? I--"

"You wanted to be something else first. Father made you want to be a doctor. Carry on the family tradition." She leapt from the table, her back to Simon. She could see the worried expression, the eyes in the back of her head wide open even as her real one closed. "Stole away your love, replaced it with ambition."

He pushed the chair out, mouth working, fingers groping. "Mei mei…"

"Don't touch me. No good comes of liars."

Simon stopped short, his fingers becoming fists, doctor's hands becoming weapons. Tension shot through his body, stiffening him like molten metal frozen in place. He wasn't breathing air anymore, pulling water into lungs not designed for it. Asphyxia, she whispered to him, her mind reaching out to massage his trachea, force the fluids out and in.

Her fingers smoothed out the strain, and he slumped. "I wanted to be a pilot. To fly. Father didn't approve, so…"

She turned then, closing the distance between them in a heartbeat. She pressed kisses to his face -- forehead, eyes, nose, lips. "You do fly. You make me fly."

She left him, then, left him with his books and his thoughts.

Muse: River Tam
Fandom: Firefly/Serenity
Prompt: 124 - Ambition
Word Count: 315 words, incl. definition of asphyxia from Wikipedia

Because I need another writing challenge like I need a hole in my head...

Since there aren't too many people with this journal friended, this is open to all the pups with moonbraingirl friended too. :)

I have posted a fun list of Jayne topics, please claim one, and I'll write you a ficlet for it, centering on Jayne and your muse. I'll cross off the topics as they get picked!

1. Happy!River
   
2. Crazy!River
   
3. Sane!River
   
4. Silly!River
   
5. Crying!River
   
6. Angry!River
   
7. Asskicking!River
   
8. CSI!River
   
9. Rayne!River
   
10. Crossover!River
    
11. Other!River (specify)

River swung her legs from side to side. She sat on the edge of a large wooden crate in the ship's cargo bay, her eyes closed and face lifted to the ceiling. She lowered herself down, lying flat on her back, eyes still closed, leg stilling.

"Hello, Jayne," she murmured.

( Jayne all but jumped out of his skin in mid-arm curl. )

In the spirit of Easter, if there is anyone in the world who doesn't have a Gmail account and wants one, comment here with your email, and I'll send you an invite or ten.

Comments are screened to protect your privacy.

(Crossposted to my mun journal.)

[And it's sooo bad that I want a paid account for this journal even though I'm not even using it in a game yet... I'm not addicted to icons! I can stop anytime!]

Close your eyes and think about what you've been missing in your life lately. It could be a person, pet, place, thing, occasion, feeling. Anything at all that you miss dearly.

River stared at the blank paper, her pen hovering mere millimeters above it. Simon had given her the journal at their last stop, telling her she should write down her thoughts and feelings. "If you keep everything bottled up inside, you'll explode, mei mei." "Will you read it?" "Not without your permission." So she'd taken it, promising to write at least once a week.

Finally, after several minutes of blank staring, she lowered the pen and began to write.

I miss sanity. Writing things down helps me concentrate, helps me put my thoughts in order, but speaking is a trial. In my head, the words make perfect sense, but they tumble out of my mouth out of order. I mean one thing, but say another. My mind hides my true meaning even from me, concealing it under layers of cryptic nonsense. I know it hurts Simon to hear me, and for his sake I try.

When I concentrate, I can pretend I'm sane for a moment or two, pretend that my thoughts come in logical order. But the stress takes its toll, and I end up having one of what Simon calls my "bad days." On those days, I miss my sanity the most. My mind is jumble of words and pictures and numbers, none of which connect to the other, with no thread of commonality between them. It hurts, the thoughts pounded against each other, like balls on a pool table. Clacking and cracking, spiraling in every direction, they force me to my knees, make me see things that aren't there.

Jayne watches me on those days. He sees me as a threat to his security, his life. I hurt him once, on a bad day. I didn't see him, I saw them. And most days, I don't even know who they are. They hurt me, they poked and prodded and sliced and diced, trained me, but in the end, they are faceless, nameless, the stuff of nightmares. I didn't want to hurt him, I wanted to hurt them.

I miss my sanity most of all.

The black ink sprawled across the page, and River sighed. She knew Simon would try to find it, try to read it. He'd lied when he gave her the book, wanting insight into her mind. "Oh Simon," she breathed, shutting the book. Glancing up to be sure Simon was nowhere in sight, she climbed onto her bed and pulled a tile out of the ceiling. He'd never find it there.

Muse: River Tam
Fandom: Firefly/Serenity
Promt: 122 - Miss
Word Count: 420 words

Fortune: Some people have it, some people seek it, some claim to predict it, and some say that it favors the brave. Write a ficlette inspired by the word "fortune."

Fortune. Noun. Chance or luck as an external, arbitrary force affecting human affairs: some malicious act of fortune keeps them separate. Also, luck, esp. good luck: this astounding piece of good fortune that has befallen me.

As a child, River Tam had always been favored by fortune. In her family, she'd been the favored one: the genius, the dancer, the beauty. Her parents had trotted her out in front of their friends, a symbol of their prosperity. She'd had all the best teachers in every subject, from quantum physics to ballet, brought to her home in Osiris to instruct her in anything she could care to learn. For the Tams, money was no object.

And in all of this, River had had one thing she considered as her luckiest possession: Simon. Her older brother -- genius in his own right, though not as intelligent as she -- had been her rock, her center. Simon had loved her like no one else, better even than their parents; while they'd loved her because of what she was, Simon loved her because of who she was. She was River, his mei mei, darling girl, annoying pain in his neck, and treasured above all else.

When Simon had gone away to MedAcad, River thought she lost that love. For all her genius, she'd been but a child, and thought with a child's emotions. He left me, she'd cried into her pillow, night after night, still unable to understand why. Her mind had continued to tell her he hadn't, he only wanted what she had, to learn, to grow. But her heart had still ached for that love, bleeding away her happiness beat by beat.

Her parents had continued to provide her with the best tutors, but they were no longer enough. When the blue hands' colleagues had offered her the position at the Academy, she jumped at it, hoping against hope that if she could learn enough, know enough, she would be enough for him.

Sometimes now, when she lies on the metal catwalks of Serenity, she wonders how her life would have turned out had she understood that Simon's love was purer than their parents', had understood that he didn't care how much she knew. She listens to the mechanical hum of the engine through the steel and the organic hum of the crew's thoughts and prays for a change in fortune.

Muse: River Tam
Fandom: "Firefly"/Serenity
Prompt: 121 - Fortune
Word Count: 400

Hi, I'm River.

Okay, actually I'm not. My name's Kari, and I'm a writer. A few months ago I applied to theatrical_muse as River, but have been put on the waitlist. Not being a patient person (and realizing that River is a popular character in a popular fandom and I might never actually get to play her) I created this journal to follow the TM prompts anyway. If you're here because you're wondering who's just friended you (looking at the Firefly muses here) that's the story.

If you'd like to RP with me, great. I'm not likely to initate much (read: any), seeing as I already play River elsewhere, but if you want me for a scene, drop me a note. I know there's not a River muse right now, but there likely will be soon, so I'm not expecting much, though I'm more than happy to play if I have the time.

These pieces will likely be crossposted to my mun journal meinterrupted as fiction. If you're a friend there, friending this journal isn't really necessary. I'm simply linking them from there to here now. I might do a batch post at some point. If you just want my River prompts, please friend this journal, as there's a lot more on the mun journal that you mightn't care about.

Also, I 'ship River/Jayne and River/Simon primarily, with a side-dish of River/Mal and post-BDM River/Zoë, and there will likely be undertones or either or both in these prompts. If cross-gen or incestuous relationships squick you, this likely isn't the journal for you. I will label and cut anything explicit, but, as evidenced by my first response, it doesn't have to be explicit to be there.

If you'd like to contact me, my RP email is roguemarie AT gmail DOT com. I can also be contacted at meinterrupted AT livejournal DOT com, or by commenting on this journal.